"Beans" is a collaboration between Shippiddge, Guitarmasterx7 (creator of Brawlgasm), and DexterBoy124 (creator of Wolf's Retarded Mission and Peach's Slutty Adventure). The premise of the collaboration is that inter-dimensional portal open up, causing characters from each universe to get switched around. Each of the creators created a trailer, a disclaimer explaining how it works was created by Guitarmasterx7, and each creator has a different version of events, which causes the whole crossover to be over an hour long.
Each of the creators made a trailer featuring the other two creators in it, usually all arguing. A running gag in each trailer seems to be tormenting Shippiddge, who GuitarMaster and Dexter call "Shippleton". Shippleton comes from Smashwalker, made by Theinternetmaster1, where Shippleton is known as Shippiddge's baby.
In Shippiddge's trailer, he's making an epic introduction stating how Smashtasm has stood above other Smash Bros. machinima, when DexterBoy and GuitarmasterX7 interrupt him and make him turn on the lights. DexterBoy is standing in front of Shippiddge, and when Shippiddge turns around, Guitarmasterx7 is revealed to be a giant talking penis, which causes Shippiddge to turn the lights back off. The trailer ends with them announcing Beans, "the ******* Brawl machinima collab this side of the universe" that would rape your face with excellence, and that you'll like it.
DexterBoy tells the story of how one day he's eating a crumpet when GuitarMasterX7 comes up to him and says "BURGER! BURGER! BURGER!", and Shippiddge appears and says "Hello, my name is Shippiddge". The three then try to work on a collab, ultimately coming up with nothing except crude pictures of penis related objects, such as DexterBoy raping a cat, Shippiddge in a forest of penises, and GuitarMasterX7 holding a guitar and a burger naked with his penis showing. When trying to come up with a name, they conclude on "Beans", then DexterBoy and GuitarmasterX7 go off track talking about "Grandma Swap" when Shippiddge says they need to concentrate, reminding them his name is Shippiddge. GuitarMaster and DexterBoy proceed to mock Shippiddge by making whining noises, and the screen cuts to "Coming Soon..."
GuitarMaster tells the story of how one day he's having sex with hot bisexual supermodels who vaguely resemble movie stars when Shippiddge comes along and asks why GuitarMaster's doing it on his lawn. DexterBoy shows up and starts being all British, and then the three argue, which results in GMX7 stabbing Shippiddge and throwing a grenade at Dex resulting of them going to the hospital. After he gets them out of the hospital, Shippiddge and DexterBoy beat up Guitarmaster for 2 hours then the three agree to work on a collab. Then Space Vikings appear out of nowhere, Dexter flees to Dubai, and Guitarmaster blows up the space Viking (Inventing the word "Vikinging" in the process) and gets sent to a planet of hot lesbians who sometimes go straight to have massive orgies. Shippiddge gets two lesbians, picking the younger ones and then being called a pedophile, and DexterBoy gets four because GuitarMaster's known him longer. The story then cuts to the three in court, with GuitarMaster saying "And that, you honor, is why we had to violate your daughter", with the judge sentencing them to three years minimum.
GuitarMasterX7 created a disclaimer explaining how Beans works. The main story will take place in a new dimension which all 3 creators will show, the stuff that takes place in Dexter's world will be in Dexter's version, the Brawlgasm world events will be in Guitarmaster's version, and the Smashtasm world events will be in Shippiddge's version. The whole thing becomes a diagram that intentionally resembles a penis either being sucked on then freaking some girl.
The Four WorldsEdit
Smashtasm World (Shippiddge's World)Edit
In the beginning, Super64 is sent into a portal by a Falcon Punch, and Link is thrown into a different portal by one of KingKirb's cousins. The Smashtasm world follows the story of 1337Fox and Brawlgasm's Snake, wearing his Fury Fire camoflauge. Snake is trying to get back to his home. Along the way, they meet Pimpachu, who Snake tries to eat, Lamp, who Snake tries to interrogate for information, and LuZERIO (formerly MewZERO) who has an argument with Snake about honor, falls in love with him, and then gets blown up by him. Snake finally winds up back home at the end, with 1337Fox and Lamp laughing when 1337Fox says he'll miss Snake, then not knowing why. Later at the end, Link returns home and is greeted rudely by the Kirby that threw him into the portal. Super64 returns to the server in Skyworld and greets 1337f0x. Super64 tells him everything that happens. However, 1337f0x became uninterested and jumped off the stage. The very end features Link going to Skyworld along with Super64 to ask him why he wasn't with him. While Link was talking, Super64 instantly leaves, unexpectedly, which angers Link.
Peach's Slutty Adventure/Wolf's Retarded Mission (Dexter's World)Edit
After a mutiny on Wolf's ship, Smashtasm's Link arrives and is made the ship's new captain. At the same time, this version of Link is at a slumber party with Peach and Marth, who dare him to run around the house six times in the dark, during which he is sucked into a portal. Smashtasm Link later flees from the ship when he learns the group is evil, and winds up with Peach and Marth, who think he's an immigrant. Marth hits Link and he winds up on Fox's ship, mistaking Fox for 1337Fox, and asking him for help. When Fox doesn't know what he's talking about, he thinks 1337Fox only responds to 1337, and makes up poor random letters, numbers, and signs, making Fox and Falco think he's an immigrant, and they knock him off the ship. Link winds up on Wolf's ship again, where Jigglypuff hits on him, but Link escapes through a plot hole, once again leaving a very upset Jigglypuff. Finally, Wolf returns and is repeatidly glomped by Bowser, and this world's Link winds up outside his house with Peach and Marth. Link tells Peach that he did the dare, but Peach says that he's lying, and tells him what really happened. He asks her how she knew that, and she says that Dexterboy told her. Link then states how he'll miss Blackimar, who he loved like a brother, hate Brawlgasm Link because he's a twat, and doesn't care about Super64 because nobody liked him anyway and is a bit of a loser, so he's a twat too. He then says: "The moral of the story is; I'M ******* AWESOME!", to which his son says, "Daddy, you're so gay!", causing Link to hit him. At the very end, after the credits, there is a scene where PSA Link is playing tag with his son, and Blackimar (from Smash Fighter) suddenly appears. Link is happy he's still alive, but Blackimar doesn't know who he is. Link then describes to Blackimar how he was his best friend, and that he always stood by him. To this, Blackimar replies, "Wait, who?", and spontaneously explodes and is sent flying. Link starts crying over Blackimar again, and once more, Toon Link says, "Daddy, you're so gay!". Link is about to hit his son again when the video ends.
Brawlgasm World (GMX7's World)Edit
Brawlgasm's Link is finally about to catch and have sex with Zero Suit Samus when he's suddenly sucked into a portal to another dimension. Meanwhile, Kirby and Snake are talking about a machine Snake made, but he doesn't know what it does. After punching it, Snake is sent into a portal, and the machine talks to Kirby, trying to make friends, which causes him to run away. Later, Kirby is walking along when Dexterboy's Wolf falls on him, and Kirby accidentally eats his blaster. This angers Wolf, who is about to kill Kirby, when the Blue Falcon is coming. Kirby runs away, knowing what's coming, and in a parody of the scene from the anime where Captain Falcon dies, Wolf is Falcon Punched. Wolf asks Captain Falcon to help him get back home, but not by Falcon Punching him, and shits himself when Captain Falcon is about to do it again. Later, Captain Falcon and Wolf come across Psycho Mantis, who is looking for Snake. Since Snake's not around, he needs someone to mess with, and starts reading Captain Falcon's mind to find out all of the horrible videogames he likes, including Barbie Horse Adventure, and reveals his real name is Winston, which causes Captain Falcon to Falcon Punch psycho mantis. Wolf calls Captain Falcon by his real name, which causes him to Falcon Punch Wolf away. Wolf then runs into Meta Knight, who only grunts, then starts jumping around making insane motions and sounds. Later, Wolf runs into the unluckiest character in the universe: Sonic, who asks to be friends, and Wolf unwittingly agrees. After a few seconds, Sonic's running and talking annoys Wolf, and he trips and gets sent flying to all different places, getting hurt everywhere. Next he meets Toon Link, who he brutally attacks, then gets Falcon Punched again and lands right back where he started with Kirby. Wolf is about to kill Kirby when Sonic collides into him, which sends him home. Later, Snake and Link arrive back home, and Snake proceeds to destroy his machine. Link comments "Well that was an awesome collab", at which point Snake says, "Yeah, but do you get the feeling it's missing something?" Sonic appears again and gets crushed by a giant penis, then Marth arrives and starts shouting "PUERTO RICO!" over and over, at which Link says "Yeah, I think that about covers it". After the credits, Sonic meets Zelda, who claims she has a present for him. Cheerful that something good is finally going to happen to him, he approaches her only to find out that she is actually Wario and that he just wanted to touch his balls. This resembles the scene in the opening of Smashtasm season 2 episode 2, but this may just be a coincidence
The Main StoryEdit
The main story takes place in a new dimension that Super64, the Links from Brawlgasm and Peach's Slutty Adventure, and Captain Blackimar are sent to. A voice tells the four of them to fight to the death, which they refuse to do, then try to escape through a writer's block, resulting in Blackimar's apparent death. PSA Link starts mourning Blackimar's death, while Brawlgasm Link points out he didn't know Blackimar anyway,by saying "You didn't ******* know him". Later, the three are asking how they're going to leave, when a demon (a dark coloration of Meta Knight, not to be confused with Meta-Dark) appears. Brawlgasm Link screams to grab him, and the demon runs, only to wind up where he started. The Links start interrogating him, discovering he had eggs, bacon, and orange juice for breakfast. Super64 convinces them to ask relevant questions, and they ask how to get to the giant talking voice in the sky. The Demon says, "You see the giant bleeding dick over there? (Super64) Go past it, until you reach the lane of pedophilia, and keep going through the left side of the screen, until you see a floating platform!" Afterwards, the Links continue to beat the Demon anyway,as Brawlgasm Link says "I spent 8 years watching the complete box set of 24,I KNOW how to interrogate people". Later, the three are walking through the dungeon, when Super64 asks what they do in their spare time to establish a character development scene. We learn Brawlgasm Link sets literal booby-traps (helps him catch Zero Suit Samus in Brawlgasm), while PSA Link sleeps most of the time (a reference to the slumber parties he creates). Super64 tells how he stops hackers from ruining Smash Bros., but the two leave at the beginning of the speech. When he asks if they were listening, they call him Skippy and say it's tragic his mom named him after a peanut butter brand. Upset, PSA Link says people used to call him Mr. Three Nipples, until he cut off his original two nipples. They finally find the voice in the sky, who looks like Ganondorf, but is actually the "Lord of all Things That Have Nipples", and sounds like Dan Green. Captain Blackimar turns out to be alive, but is killed again when The Lord twists his nipples. Super64 and the Links reach him and challenge him to a fight, but he starts to undergo a transformation into a hybrid between a dragon and Chris Crocker. Armed with a powerful nipple beam, which causes pain to your nipples, he blasts the three, but PSA Link, only having one nipple now, barely feels anything, and launches an arrow at the creature, reversing its nipple beam on itself. Super64's and Brawlgasm Link's nipples become infused with fiery energy, and they defeat the monster with their final smashes. Causing PSA Link to be very upset because he wanted to be the one to save the day. After a not-so-heartfelt goodbye, the three go home to their own worlds. At the end before the song plays, Smashtasm Link goes into Skyworld with Super64 to ask why he didn't go along with him. Super64 unpredictably leaves. At the end, there's a humorous speech made by Cloudy, the voice of Greg (Or maybe appears to be really Greg), saying that the ending sucked and that he left a bad comment on YouTube "to make the guy who made this to be pissed".